10 August 2024 John 12:24-26
“Whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.”
John 12:25
Some people live lives that are horrors, so filled with anguish, illness, injustice, poverty or pain that nearly every moment is a misery. It is understandable how they might hate their lives. But most don’t. Certainly,times of bitterness come to all people, but so also there are moments that are perfect – the touch of a husband or wife, the touch of a child or grandchild, a glimpse of transcendent beauty, a peace that passes understanding. They are only moments, and they quickly disappear, but before they go, for that fleeting instant, everything is right, and you know you have just felt the breeze of heaven. Those who live on the most intimate terms with Jesus testify that they have had many such perfect moments. “For me, to live is Christ,” said the Apostle Paul (Philippians 1:21). He sifted all his struggles through his joy in Christ, and found epiphanies even in his pain.
If it is even possible to say, with the Apostle Paul, “To live is Christ,” how can we hate our lives? Isn’t that a little ungrateful? If so, what can it mean to say, “Whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life” (John 12:25)?
To hate perfect moments would certainly be ungrateful, and a grave sin. What we may hate, however, is that they are only moments. Their perfection is so pure that we know we would gladly use all our strength and will to hold on to that moment, and it is a particularly poignant anguish that they always slip away. Our desire is not pure enough, our grasp too desperate. Perfect moments are only moments because we want to possess those moments more than we want to adore them. God was perfectly serious when He said, “No one shall see me and live” (Exodus 33:20). When we are close enough to feel God’s breath, the appropriate response is to give our lives, not to try and grab God’s. People who are on intimate terms with Jesus understand that. It is why Paul could say, “For me, to live is Christ” – he felt the breath of God and surrendered his life. He knew that his life was safer in Jesus’ hands than his own. Not surprisingly, people who are able to do that have more frequent perfect moments. Their lives become a series of perfect moments. It is why we call them saints.
The anguish of perfect moments is that they are momentary. We never hate the perfect moments, but only the gaps between them. The great paradox of Christian living is that we hold on to perfect moments longer by holding on less – when we feel heaven’s breeze we surrender our own lives, and don’ttry to grab God’s. Even Jesus “did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant” (Philippians 2:6-7). Jesus honors such acts of trust, and gives us His life in return – it is why He said so frequently, “Your faith has made you well” (cf. Matthew 9:22). His life makes our lives perfect moments.
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